Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Finding Peace

I've been taught my whole life that feeling peace is the one sign you're on the right track--whether at work, in your relationships, or even while choosing the destination of your next vacation.

Peace is the supernatural signal you're walking in God's light. Following His path.

I realize this may not be everyone's definition. But for this girl who was raised by a tambourine-playing, Bible-reading, Spirit-filled mother who planned our summer vacations with Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker at Heritage U.S.A. and led her four children in praise and worship songs while driving from Florida to North Carolina in a Toyota hatchback with a twin mattress in the back--feeling at peace is the only way I want to live.

They keep getting taller!
If you've read this blog or know me at all, these last few years with my pre-college kids have been exceptionally difficult for me. John, Nicole, and Luke have filled my life with such purpose and joy, I have feared doing life without them. This transition to empty nest has prompted me toward some serious soul searching, much of which has brought even more tumult to my already tortured soul!

But I believe I may be coming out the other end.

And I didn't even see it until a weekend chat with my little sister.

I called Tiffany after seeing her Facebook post about it being 9 years since our mom passed away. I knew something seemed familiar about July 7th, but I had completely forgotten it was the anniversary of Marilyn Martin's death.

My brothers & sister Tiff. (Missing Nate!)
As Tiffany and I were catching up on her budding counseling practice, her impending wedding plans, and the state of our siblings' lives, she asked how I was *really* doing. And I realized, I am doing quite well.

Sure, I'm a little bored without summer basketball activities to plan and travel to. But I'm actually feeling at peace--letting the dramatic changes and conversations I've experienced this past year simmer awhile.

And so far it's feeling...well...peaceful.

I must celebrate that. And I must continue to tune in to my peace-ometer, trusting each step I'm supposed to take will reveal itself when the time is right.

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