Monday, April 29, 2013

Last-Minute, Head-Turning, Life-Changing Miracle

Homecoming 2012-2013 with my youngest son, Luke
I've been in social media hiding for 3 weeks now, fearing my blabber-mouth tendencies would totally screw things up.

Can't share everything for another day or two, but I can share this:
A miraculous set of events has just occured in the life of my youngest son.

It was March 13th when I blogged about the ongoing arguments in the Kornet house as to whether a prestigious, name-brand university is worth the money, should Luke be accepted.

We believed we had found an ideal solution, thanks to some generous academic scholarships SMU awarded my future engineer. We were thrilled to know Luke would stay close to home in an esteemed, private institution with an excellent engineering school--and a Division One basketball program to boot. We were all at peace, believing this was a wonderful win-win.

And then everything changed.

We made a call to a dear friend and former coach, asking him if he knew someone at SMU we could talk to about Luke walking-on the basketball team. That friend talked to another friend...who asked Luke to come to practice with his AAU team, composed of top 17-year-old recruits ...which happened to be an amazing fit...which was playing in a series of upcoming tournaments, the first of which was 2 days later in which the team played so well, they made it to the championship game...which was attended by national basketball recruiters...who then alerted D-1 programs across the country to this 6'10" unsigned, 17-year-old senior named Luke Kornet who can shoot 3's, dunk, rebound, and has grown 6 inches since last summer. And he is still growing.
DFW Airport, back from Spring Break 2013

I am not exaggerating when I tell you, the phone has not stopped ringing ever since.

Luke played the following weekend in Minnesota, again with this exceptional AAU team, this time with dozens of D-1 coaches in attendance.

The phone has continued to ring; we have had head coaches visit our home and Luke's school; we have flown across the country to meet players, engineering professors--all to see where Luke might fit in best when he commits to play college basketball.

Yes, Luke *will* be playing college basketball.

It is a dream come true for this humble, hard-working, incredibly grateful son of mine. When an official decision is announced--I will excitedly blab it immediately.

And I hope you will help me cheer on Luke this fall!

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

New Orleans Nonsense

I just returned from a barely-24-hour-work trip to New Orleans.

Our actual location was about an hour north of the city, so we got to sample the cuisine of a couple of fabulous places off the beaten path. The food was so delicious, and so rich, I haven't been able to eat since!

But it did spur me on to exercise. Specifically, as soon as we wrapped shooting, I threw my workout clothes back on, scarfed down a couple of beignets with my photographer, then jogged through the French Quarter to burn some of it off before we caught our plane!

I tell Gina about here in our latest edition of The Real Botox Diaries--along with an unusual massage I wasn't expecting. Plus, Gina shares her tips for going barefaced.

By the way, if you're trying to plan your next vacation, I highly recommend New Orleans. Trust me, you WILL have stories to tell when you get back!

Monday, April 1, 2013

Friendly Follow-up & Your Best Advice

Thought I should follow up to my last blog entry regarding the woman for whom I've been trying find services and housing in Fort Worth.

Your comments were so insightful, I thought posting them here might help someone else.

But before I do that, I must share a few life lessons I've learned through this situation:

First and foremost, it finally clicked in my pea brain that sometimes truly helping someone may require giving them tools and resources--and then stepping back, allowing them to use those aids. Otherwise, we can end up hurting the very people we're trying to help.

Second, I learned how truly difficult it is to find affordable housing, especially if one has bad credit--even when she has a full-time job. What a struggle. It was incredibly disheartening to me, and I had access to  excellent contacts and a car!

Third, and I learned this years ago from a counselor, just because someone calls you on the phone, does not require you answer! My fellow pleasers understand this. Experts will tell you that simply picking up the phone can enable abuser types--whether that's a jilted lover, spouse, or abusive boss, or a pressuring coach or negative parent or coworker. In my case, I logged 17 calls in a 36-hour period from this clearly desperate woman. It was affecting my work and bled into my emotional state. I finally told her no more phone calls and communicated via short texts only.

Bottom line? If you're starting to feel manipulated or taken advantage of, take your power back. Demand boundaries.

In the end it will free up more space in your heart to love.

Below are a few of the Facebook comments I found valuable after posting my previous blog. Whatever your circumstances, wherever your heart is lead in regards to helping others, I hope you find the following advice helpful. 


Tracy.... if she really wanted your gracious help, she would be grateful for what you have done for her. She has to help herself now and unfortunately, you have put yourself in an awkward position. You must stop and tell her that that is all you can do for her. If I was in need (been there) I would be sooo darn grateful... and quietly would accept anything you (or anyone else) offered. 
--U. Boettcher

It looks like people have been helpful already. But when I've been in similar situations as an teacher/social worker/friend I am very clear with them, as I try to be from the start, with what I have done, what I won't be able to do more of until they take ownership of the plan, and I tell them what I see from my perspective. I let them know I will be there for them when they are ready (so they don't have that excuse), but I remind them that these same opportunities may not. I advocate, but I have them do the leg work. I recommend counseling to try to learn how to move beyond the issues that are keeping them from moving forward. She's afraid and doesn't feel worthy. It can make a person angry, but this isn't personal.
--J. Holland

 I am wondering if the things she is complaining about really warrant complaining ( in the current housing situation). Where is her appreciation for what she has? It has to be better than what she had. I agree with what your friend said about giving her tools and now she has to want it and fix it herself. Otherwise, she will be back where she was sooner than later.
--T. Blakeman

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