Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Mean Girls Suck

First, this post is NOT about me. Yes, I've experienced mean girls several times in my past. Just not in this particular season.

I am posting this amended version of some past thoughts, because several conversations with others in recent months have inspired me to do so.

So whomever this is meant for, I hope it helps. 

Have a "mean girl" in your life? Get to know her story. Or cut your losses and leave.

Empathy is the great equalizer. It is hard to be jealous of or angry with someone who is struggling, hurting, or being treated unfairly. You will understand how to love mean girls (and boys) and overcome their ugliness when you seek out the "why" behind their actions.

With that said, mean girls can sometimes grow up to become mean women. When you encounter a mean woman--and especially if she is in charge--one of you may have to leave. And unless God or karma intervenes first, it will likely be you. The nice girl. 

This is extremely painful, and it may require that you leave something you absolutely love and/or people you adore. But unless mean girl gets fired or does something to completely tarnish her reputation, you may be absolutely stuck and suffer deeply and intensely trying to take the high road tolerating the mean girl. It may chip away at your self-worth. It may take you down a dark and dangerous path of being victimized in other areas of your life. It can cause PTSD or other life-long, emotional effects. 

Girl, it's not worth it. 

Sometimes you need to cut your losses, take your ball, and go play on someone else's court. Give yourself a fresh start. A clean slate. Embrace a new leader or boss who believes in you and allows you to shine. Some of us, especially us nice girls, are emboldened, strengthened by and flourish around people who believe in us. Their faith in us makes us stronger. It's like new, romantic love--it makes you feel invincible. The sky becomes the limit. Our confidence soars through the roof. Success follows.

Remember, mean girls are usually jealous; somehow, some way you make them feel inferior. Or perhaps you represent their unrealized goals and dreams. Or you've been given a greater gift or talent in an area they deeply desire and/or envy. So they choose to punish you for it, for as long as you choose to work with/for them.

Life is not fair. 

But I'm not sure it ever feels *more* unfair then when you're forced to exist for an extended period of time alongside a mean girl.

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