And this week it stopped me in my tracks:
"God, what do YOU want me to do?"
My morning routine typically starts by sitting on my leather chair, downing several cups of coffee, and reading through a handful of devotionals and books. My latest fav is a gift from my oldest son called Rediscover Catholicism by Matthew Kelly.
It's no secret I've been trying to figure out the next chapter in my own book, now that all three kids are in college. I've downsized, moved closer to work, sold most of my crap, and booked a trip to France with a girlfriend.
But when I woke up this morning and asked my husband, "Do you feel as bored and unfulfilled as I do?" -- to which he immediately answered "Yes" -- it is clear we are ripe for even more change.
Which brings me back to The Big Question.
In all of my past moves and job opportunities, I've felt a sense of peace and clear direction from the Big Man upstairs. I'm telling you, it was truly as though the heavens parted and a beam of light came down and hit me smack dab in the forehead with a "Tracy, here is your answer."
But not this time. I feel stuck. And totally in the dark.
Maybe it's because this time, I am trying to figure it all out on my own. I am trying to push and prod and plan, when I'm supposed to be still. I'm supposed to be silent. I've had several dear friends remind me how that is the only way we can actually hear God speak.
Last night I called a summit of some of these girlfriends. I almost cried when I spotted them through the window of the Zoe's Kitchen near my old neighborhood.
I have missed my friends. I have missed our conversations. God may speak in the silence, but I believe He can speak through quality friends, too.
I am all ears.
|Some of my wisest women friends. How I love them!|