Skip to main content

God, What do YOU Want Me To Do?

One of my new favorite writers calls this The Big Question.
And this week it stopped me in my tracks:
"God, what do YOU want me to do?"

My morning routine typically starts by sitting on my leather chair, downing several cups of coffee, and reading through a handful of devotionals and books. My latest fav is a gift from my oldest son called Rediscover Catholicism by Matthew Kelly.

It's no secret I've been trying to figure out the next chapter in my own book, now that all three kids are in college. I've downsized, moved closer to work, sold most of my crap, and booked a trip to France with a girlfriend.

But when I woke up this morning and asked my husband, "Do you feel as bored and unfulfilled as I do?" -- to which he immediately answered "Yes" -- it is clear we are ripe for even more change.

Which brings me back to The Big Question.

In all of my past moves and job opportunities, I've felt a sense of peace and clear direction from the Big Man upstairs. I'm telling you, it was truly as though the heavens parted and a beam of light came down and hit me smack dab in the forehead with a "Tracy, here is your answer."

But not this time. I feel stuck. And totally in the dark.

Maybe it's because this time, I am trying to figure it all out on my own. I am trying to push and prod and plan, when I'm supposed to be still. I'm supposed to be silent. I've had several dear friends remind me how that is the only way we can actually hear God speak.

Last night I called a summit of some of these girlfriends. I almost cried when I spotted them through the window of the Zoe's Kitchen near my old neighborhood.

I have missed my friends. I have missed our conversations. God may speak in the silence, but I believe He can speak through quality friends, too.

I am all ears.

Some of my wisest women friends. How I love them!






Comments

Popular posts from this blog

That Little Blonde Girl

The first week of my first tv anchor job, my milk came in ten minutes before the start of the early morning newscast. My newborn daughter was just three months old. I recall standing in my nursing bra and skirt in the tiny station bathroom, frantically blow-drying the massive wet spots from my periwinkle Casual Corner blazer. That little girl turns 25 this Friday. One of my most vivid memories of Nicole Elizabeth’s childhood-- of which there are millions-- was her first day of 7th grade in a massive middle school outside of Dallas, Texas. We had moved mid-year from Phoenix, and her dad, little brother and I were walking Nicole to her new classroom. Her future classmates were sitting on the floor outside, lined up against the hallway, waiting to leave for P.E.. As we approached, one little blonde girl shouted, “New girl, sit here!” Another joined in, “No. Sit here!” And another, “What’s your name, new girl?” I was stunned--flab

That Time I Was Almost a Pop Star

Anri's Circuit of Rainbow music video (That's me on the right!) It was what I'd always imagined life would be like as a big-time singer. The massive, metallic stage opens like Moses parting the Red Sea...the recognizable guitar riff blaring throughout Tokyo's legendary Budokan arena. Five of us dancers on pedestals of varying heights, box-step and bounce...summoning the tens of thousands of screaming Japanese fans to get louder. Anticipation builds with every "Come on!" Let's go! Get it up!" we declare. Finally, the beloved Anri dances on to the stage...and the crowd goes wild... The year was 1988. I had dropped out of college for two semesters after a fighter-pilot-older-brother-of-my-high-school-friend told me he "saw Americans working" at Tokyo Disneyland . "You should go do that, Tracy!" he said, standing in my family's Tampa, Florida kitchen during Christmas break of my sophomore year. I called nearby D

Mean Girls Suck

First, this post is NOT about me. Yes, I've experienced mean girls several times in my past. Just not in this particular season. I am posting this amended version of some past thoughts, because several conversations with others in recent months have inspired me to do so. So whomever this is meant for, I hope it helps.  Have a "mean girl" in your life? Get to know her story. Or cut your losses and leave. Empathy is the great equalizer.   It is hard to be jealous of or angry with someone who is struggling, hurting, or being treated unfairly. You will understand how to love mean girls (and boys) and overcome their ugliness when you seek out the "why" behind their actions. With that said, mean girls can sometimes grow up to become mean women. When you encounter a mean woman--and especially if she is in charge--one of you may have to leave. And unless God or karma intervenes first, it will likely be you. The nice girl.  This is extremely painful, an